Episode IX (Stub)

...IX (Stub)

Believe it or not, that comes up in a search for Happy Friday.

i did not have time to write an entire blog this week - which is rather unfortunate because i did have a lot of interesting things happen to me. but here's a brief rundown of what i learned this week maybe if i put in a lot of pictures nobody will notice that it's shorter than normal.

-Schizophrenia is believed to be caused by a retrovirus present in the DNA of every single human being in the entire world. There are actually a lot of random things that have managed to find their way into our DNA and are passed down from one generation to the next. Plus there's nothing to be done about it so you might as well just get over yourself. You're not even fully human.. Odds are you have some Neanderthal strands in your DNA too from way back in the day when gramps got out and had a bit too much fun. But all of this is old news - doctors have known about it for over 10 years. Too bad nobody ever bothered telling me about it. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/1269155.stm)

-On a similar note, turns out DNA was actually discovered by some guy named Francis Crick while he was tripping on acid. I guess he noticed the awesome helical structures because they were so visually stimulating? Apparently Crick also "argued that life was seeded on Earth by a race of prehistoric aliens." Which, given the odds of abiotic genesis is not that unlikely. Abiotic genesis is the process of something nonliving becoming something living (e.g. rock --> turtle). According to my science teacher (Tim Price) this process takes about 3-4 billion consecutive helpful mutations. The odds of one such mutation are immensly small. The world is only 3-4 billion years old. The odds of one such mutation every year since the beginning of time approaches 0 very very quickly. Basically, we were put here - hard to say by whom or why.. if it was even intentional. But we came from somewhere.

-In other news, it's snowing outside again. i've come to decide that montana has 2 seasons - winter and not quite winter. apparently it's still winter.

can somebody please explain to me why the fuck this came up in an image search for construction worker?

-some guy called my house yesterday looking for Timothy Martin from 111 Shelterview Kalispell Montana. I told him there was no Tim that lived there, and that we were far from 111 Shelterview, but he didn't believe me. He was just like "ok Tim" and then hung up. So i looked up 111 Shelter View/Timothy Martin today. Turns out its a construction company. Which is hilarious because whoever that guy was that called is probably really pissed off at Timothy Martin right about now. Some people are just so fucking stupid

-i went to church on sunday.. you know easter sunday and all. it's the one day of the year that i can dress up and go be reverent. but then afterwards, they didn't have any coffee or donuts. They did have a cake that said "Happy Birthday Fr Bob!" But i didn't feel okay about stealing a priest's cake. So instead, i walked across the street to the Lutheran church and pretended that i had actually gone to church there. They had some fucking great cinnamon rolls. I'm going to hell.

-on saturday, we spent the afternoon frolfing in the park. (frisbee golfing for those who don't know) - Morgan managed to hit some random girl who was sitting there reading a book. Turns out her name was Morgan too. Turns out Morgan also go Morgan's number after hitting Morgan with a frolf disc. Wouldn't that just be too cute? They could send out M&Ms as wedding invites.

-twice in the past week, I've seen the same bum out walking around with super-official looking metal-detecting gear. I guess he's huntin' for gold or pirate treasure or something. Maybe the economy is worse than i thought if it's actually worth his time to walk around for hours on end doing that? or maybe it's a leisure activity that helps keep him away from the meth.

sorry that i couldn't write more than this guys - i've had a really weird week.