Episode X

So, the shorter blog is going to be a semi-permanent thing.. like those temporary buildings that schools put up. Mostly because I am crazy busy with life/finals/trying to get my eagle scout before my 18^th birthday and I simply don’t have time to write a 2000+ word entry every week. Anyway, enjoy.

First Things First

I want to give a shout out to any foreign readers. I was looking at the stats for my page (I can actually see a remarkable amount of information about who reads this – e.g. browser used, country accessed from, operating system, time of day accessed.. almost scary right?) But anyway – I was looking at the stats and I saw that I have had views in Mexico, Canada, Germany, Malaysia and the US. The US makes sense.. I mean I live here, I would hope that people from here access it. Mexico and Canada also kinda make sense – I basically grew up in Mexico and I have friends that live there now, and I live about 70 miles from the Canadian border right now, so maybe there was some kind of overlap. But that still leaves Germany and Malaysia. I don’t know anybody in Germany or Malaysia. Like what? How do you find this? (seriously, if you’re reading this and it’s a good story, email me – avi3ndha@gmail.com). But most importantly, you’re awesome. It’s pretty crazy to think that within a month I’ve gained a couple viewers that are people I don’t even know. I originally thought that maybe 3-4 people would actually read this.. but the page has gotten over 150 pageviews in the past couple of weeks. I have set it up so that you guys can all see the page stats too, because they’re kinda fun. Just for shits and giggles ya know?

S&P – Money Shit

So before I run this story, S&P “is a division of McGraw-Hill that publishes financial research and analysis on stocks and bonds. It is well known for the stock market indexes” en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S&P

Because before this week, I didn’t really know what S&P was either. But, basically they’re some of the biggest money gurus in the world. They’re the ones that are like “no loan for you, bitch.” And, well they’re starting to question the US’s credit – they “cut the U.S. credit rating outlook from stable to negative” http://www.bloomberg.com Now, this isn’t the end of the world yet, but it does kinda make me think a bit. What’s going to happen when people realize that the US is not going to pay back its debt? Because realistically.. I’m not so sure that we can. I think that we’re going to start making deals with countries like “hey china, you can put a naval base in California if you knock $100,000,000 off our debt to you.” But there is always the chance that we’ll stop being such pussy faggots and stand up to people like “bitch, we’re the US. We aren’t gonna pay you shit. And if you don’t like it you can eat a fucking nuke.” Or we could just declare bankruptcy and disband the US. That’d be exciting.

1 million dollars.

I ran into a story this week that kinda baffles me. There’s this crazy Russian math dude who’s brilliant right? You can tell it just by looking at him actually:

He solved some really complicated math shit that nobody had solved for hundreds of years and got offered a $1 million prize which he refused “because he knows "how to control the universe."” Now, before I call him out on bullshitting, let’s just pretend that he’s not. So we have this Russian genius who can control the universe right? How does that correlate to him not wanting $1 million? If I could control the universe I’m pretty sure I’d be like “I’m a fucking god. Respect my authority. And give me your money and all your women.” Pretty much like the Vikings did back in the day. One of my friends actually told me about a theory that Sweden is full of attractive women because the Vikings went around stealing all the most beautiful women in the world. And those women had beautiful children, who had beautiful children, etc.

Morgan Files M&M’s

So remember Morgan? Like the Morgan that Morgan hit with a frolf and hit it off with? Yeah, so they sorta went on a date this week. Sorta. I think Morgan thought it was a date but Morgan didn’t think it was a date. That is just way too much fun to do, sorry. From now on Morgan is my roommate, and Morgan2 is my non-roomate. So Morgan called Morgan2 and set up a little get together with her. Then Morgan2 decided to take Morgan to something that turned out to be a pyramid scheme meeting with a bunch of 24 year olds telling Morgan about how he could retire by the time he was 24 with millions of dollars. They spent a lot of energy trying to convince Morgan that it wasn’t really a pyramid scheme.. probably because pyramid schemes are illegal. Morgan hasn’t seen Morgan2 since then. (to my knowledge)

Canadian Coins.

We do our laundry weekly at the local Laundromat. This week, I noticed a sign that I hadn’t seen before:

No Canadian coins? What the fuck? (by the way, I took this picture with my laptop I was proud of myself for being able to hold it/hit the take picture button with one hand) First of all I think it’s hilarious because I’ve lived in Houston my whole life but never seen a “no pesos” sign. Like I thought that was kind of a given. You have to use the correct currency. It seems pretty intuitive. Then we decided to test it out. Turns out Canadian quarters totally work in the machines.. which is doubly hilarious because we probably would never have thought to try that if they hadn’t had a sign telling us about it. And triply hilarious because Canadian coins aren’t worth shit and the Laundromat is a shithole. Maybe if they had a bathroom in it I’d feel bad about using Canadian coins. But they don’t. you have to walk across the street to Little Caesar’s anytime you need to shit.. tell the employees at Little Caesar’s like “Don’t worry man, I’m a friend of Caesar” and then proceed to blow up their toilet without buying anything.

Leaves

We did a little social experiment this week – we made a giant wall of leaves in the middle of the road to test people’s resolve. 85-90% of the people who drove by actually changed lanes to avoid hitting the leaves (including a cop). The other 10% blew our shit up. There have been leaves all over the street for the past week. Also having to do with leaves – I spent most of last Saturday raking because I was told that there could not be a single leaf in our yard. 3 hours and a broken rake later, there were still 1000s of leaves. I gave up. Then I got to scrub blinds for another 3 hours. I guess I should try learning how to clean. But don’t worry, it was all okay because I got to hang out with this really awesome girl afterwards. I dunno how much she wants me to write about her. Might make her feel weird or something. Hey Callie(: by the way. (she reads this). So I guess I’ll leave it at saying there’s a girl in my life for the first time in over 2 years. Weird right? I guess that’s what happens when you stay in the same state long enough to catch your breath. Living in 5 states per year is just slightly over the top in my opinion. Would’ve been way worse to live in all 5 at once though. Anyway, if she doesn’t mind I’ll throw a picture of us up whenever we end up taking one. But unless you want to come to Montana to visit me, you’ll just have to take my word that she’s pretty great. For anyone curious, I actually met her like this:

weird right? I was super skeptical about stuff like this until now. But hey man, whatever works I guess..

yeah, so for anyone curious, that was complete horse-shit. That's not at all how I met her. I found that picture on the internet and wanted to include it in my blog somehow.

Schedule

So, before I forget/run out of time – I probably won’t be writing anything this upcoming week. I’m going to be in the woods from Friday-Sunday. So if I did write something it would be posted on Thursday. But don’t hold your breath. I’ll probably just have extra stories for the week after.

Ground cookie

I’m running out of time here (I have a calculus test in 19 minutes that I haven’t studied for) but this week I found a cookie on the ground in my hour of need. I was fiendin’ for some free food and none of the normal spots had any. Then I looked down and saw this giant white chocolate cooking looming on the grass. It was totally untouched. No bites taken out of it or anything. Naturally, I ate it. It was delicious and it didn’t make me sick. I guess the moral is, don’t be so timid about eating food. If it’s free and it looks tasty, go for it. Your body should know what’s good for it and what’s not.

Montessori Misadventures

I spent about an hour burying kids in rubber chips yesterday. I sorta started a fad when I was like “hey guys who wants to bury me?” They all wanted to bury me. Then, afterwards, they all wanted me to bury them. Turns out shoveling rubber non-stop for an hour is kind of an awesome workout.

Lost

I don’t have time to fully finish this story – but basically my house is completely addicted to the TV show LOST and we were running out of season one episodes to watch. In my infinite resourcefulness, I managed to snag season 2. I had to sit at a bus stop for an hour to make it happen. But it happened. 100% worth it too.

Edit:

Just finished my calc test. Aced it except for the last question. That fucked me. Apparently the Maclaurin series for I definitely didn’t get that.

Edit II:

okay, I'm officially retarded. I actually did get that ^ for my answer. I just wrote it as x^3/3! because I wanted to be fancy. But then when I looked it up on the internet I didn't make the connection that 3! = 6.

Music:

For the music section this week, i picked out a bunch of the filthiest "HOLY FUCKING SHITTING FUCK" dubstep drops i've ever heard. Check em out if you're into that.

Before you go - check out this crazy illusion. Blew my fucking mind. By the way, don't spend too much time staring at it.